COLUMN: Five tips for improving any relationship
Published: Monday, October 21, 2013
Updated: Monday, October 21, 2013 22:10
It may feel effortless and exciting in the early stages of a relationship, but successful long-term relationships are built on ongoing effort and compromise by both partners. In order to have a healthy relationship, there are certain things that need to be present in order to make it work. Below are five habits that should be developed in order to maintain a healthy relationship.
Something I’ve found very important in relationships is to have realistic expectations. When looking for our match we always have some image in our mind of someone that suits us perfectly. Whether it’s tall, dark and handsome, or tall, thin and beautiful, etc., we shouldn’t let this ideal affect our opinion of the one we are with. Don’t dump someone because they may not be exactly who you pictured yourself with. Make sure to keep an open mind and realize that you both have imperfections, and be sure that you’re both on the same page and both want and expect the same things. You can’t go into a relationship expecting that someone will change for you or let you mold them into your perfect match. You have to accept them, all flaws included, and love them for who they are. It is possible to have realistic expectations in a relationship; just make sure your partner knows what they are.
Thoughtfulness in a relationship can really go a long way. Make it a habit to think about what could make your partner happy today; what will make them feel special? Sometimes thoughtfulness doesn’t require anything more than acknowledging something that’s important to the one you love. Perhaps they had a bad day and just need someone to talk to. Be empathetic and let them know you are there for them. Maybe you can even venture as far as surprising them by cleaning the apartment while they’re out or making them dinner to come home to — whatever it is, surprise them with something unexpected. It will show you were thinking of them and want to make them feel appreciated. Thoughtfulness is a great way to show that you care and it will make your relationship — and your life — a better place to be.
You know that awful, little thing the person you’re dating does that just drives you crazy? Maybe it’s leaving their dirty clothes on the floor or spraying too much perfume or cologne in the morning. Well, If you’re sick of dealing with it everyday, maybe its time to turn that negative into a positive. To do this,you need to first point it out and explain what it is that’s bothering you. Next you need to try and figure out a way to change it or compromise so that you are both happy. Finally, don’t focus on the negative too long. Focus on things that make you happy and can make you realize this annoyance really isn’t such a big deal. It definitely isn’t worth the strain it’s putting on your relationship.
After dating someone for so long, there are bound to be disagreements, and it is very important to learn how to settle these arguments peacefully. Avoid yelling and subdue any anger long enough to hear your partner out and be willing to resolve the issue. When disagreements are resolved in a positive way you learn more about each other and are drawn closer. When these fights are not resolved properly, couples can be driven apart.
To ensure all these things do come into play, communication is key. Good communication can help any relationship develop and move to the next level. When people stop communicating well, they stop relating to each other as well, which may cause distance to form. As long as you’re communicating, you can work through and problem you’re facing. To some people’s surprise, communication isn’t only through what we say. For example, One person might find a massage after a stressful day a loving mode of communication while someone else might just want to talk over a hot cup of coffee. Take some time to learn your partner’s body language to help you better understand what your partner is saying. A lot of our communication is actually transmitted by what we don’t say.