COLUMN: Hot wings and 'geek status'
Published: Thursday, October 10, 2013
Updated: Thursday, October 10, 2013 00:10
College is a very pivotal time for hordes and hordes of young’ns to utilize every walk of life to determine — in the most harrowingly melodramatic, “One-Tree-Hill” fashion — just who they truly are.
Of all the terribly sexy things in collegiate life, nothing stands more alluring than the mere idea of “finding yourself,” unless, of course on that list you include “exotic dancing,” “candle light dinners” or “Natalie Portman.”
For those still clamoring violently to find themselves and establish once and for all their deep and personal social status — and most likely the general color scheme of your Facebook cover photos from now to eternity — allow me this one vital insight.
Whoever you are, or become, you are definitely not a nerd.
Most definitely. Just trust me on this.
You see, the Tao of the nerd is more than simple social or visual cues; it is a substantial and existential way of life. It’s just like eating fried calamari — you may not have full viable proof you are digesting actual squid, yet you just know it’s there. Of course in this analogy, feel free to substitute “squid” with “any board game that lasts longer than six hours and includes anything resembling an ‘attack card.’”
So for you bystanders begging for geek status because of your thick glasses and “Super Mario” t-shirts, please quit wasting our time; we have three seasons of “Mythbusters” to be mesmerized by.
I understand this may ruffle some feathers, but a quick evening surrounded by the lot of them opened my eyes to the undeniable truth. To illustrate, allow me a few words to to share with you my experience at the League of Legends World Championship watch party.
Much like the Battle at Normandy, this was a shell-shocked exposure into a new and intense world for a non-gamer-savvy pal like me, and yet I was there, mainly for two reasons.
First, I wanted to have explicit, face-to-face access to what is a role playing digital phenomenon that is more a societal statement than a video game, and secondly — but in no way any less imperative — they had half-price appetizers at Buffalo Wild Wings.
There had to be about 200 people jammed in the patio, though if you asked them, they wouldn’t have known anyone else was within a mile of their chair. They were wrapped, entranced, onion rings untouched, all bobbing with the directional flow of the game on the screen, played in a different city.