COLUMN: When's the right time to make the first move?
Published: Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Updated: Monday, September 30, 2013 22:09
This past week I received quite a few questions and narrowed those down to one that I want to address because I feel it is applicable to most people. If you’ve sent a question to me you’d like to have addressed, don’t think I’ve forgotten you. II will try to get to all the questions I can in time, so be patient.
Week two’s question is “What date is a good time to make the first move?”
If by “move” you mean the first kiss, then I’m sure you’ve heard time and time again to wait until the third date. The three-date theory may be work for some people, but I’ve found from talking about this with many people that there is really no particular time you need to make this happen.
It’s important to gauge where you’re at with your date. If it’s the first date and you have such a great time that it just happens naturally, then go for it; but do not force it. As I said, there is no rush. Pay attention to body language such as prolonged eye contact. These types of things will help you work out whether you’ll get a positive response. Wait until it’s comfortable for you both, and make sure it’s a situation that you’ll both look back on as a good memory. It can be both well-thought-out and spontaneous. Remember, an awkward first kiss could be the end for a potential relationship.
I’ve also found that if you really care about someone and want a fulfilling and strong relationship to come from your interaction, it’s best to wait. The physical aspect means so much more when you make an effort to get to know someone before going to the physical level. That way you see them as a person who you appreciate rather than starting the relationship on something purely physical.
There are no proven strategies for finding the right time to make a move. Whenever you do make the move, make sure you have a plan of what you want your next step in the relationship to be. Don’t get yourself into something you're not ready for, and make sure to discuss expectations with that person you’re kissing. You might find that you both want completely different things, causing turmoil to develop in a young and blossoming relationship.