COLUMN: Old maids are not in their early 20’s

An elephant exists in this room. A big, fat elephant dressed in patriarchal social norms that stomps on the wealth of diverse women within USU's campus community. I love men and am fortunate to be surrounded by some fantastic and highly supportive men in my life. My intention of the following social observation is not to roast men. But when men treat women like they are incapable of fulfilling a wide spectrum of roles, my blood begins to boil. The spitfire, tigress part of my personality unleashes, wanting to feast upon the male ego that, in the end, only makes me stronger.

As residents of Logan, Utah, it is no secret that we are nestled in a traditionally conservative part of the U.S. But beyond our general conservatism, we have another phenomenon fairly unique to the culture. Females marry and begin families at young ages, and are encouraged and praised for doing so.

I am happy for these women and genuinely wish them the greatest successes in life. But women should not be treated with distasteful comments or judgmentally harnessed stares for not choosing to marry at age 19 and start a family at age 20. It should also not be assumed that this unmarried and so-called "unconventional" group of women is somehow incapable of finding and keeping a man.

Though I am speaking from my own experience of feeling smothered by the social norm, it is relevant to note my certainty that I am not alone in this conviction. I always knew I would want to boldly pursue an education. Nothing, including ridiculous comments from other people, will stop me from doing so. Ridiculous comments directed toward me include, but are not limited to:

"Are you engaged yet? You are already 21."

Gasp. Insert shuttering silence. Apparently, I am an old maid. OK, honestly folks? Twenty-one is still incredibly young. I am not anti-marriage, and yes, I eventually intend to settle down. Contrary to popular belief, life is not over at 21. It really isn't.

"Wow, you are planning to go to graduate or law school? That's really ambitious — for a girl."

This frequently reiterated comment irks me. Any higher-education pursuit is ambitious for anyone, not just women. This does not mean getting married and bringing kids into the world are not ambitious life steps. But frankly, comments like these carry a degrading air and are better left unsaid.

I have also been asked the question, "How can you possibly have a career and be a good wife and mother?"

I am not a wife and mother, so I do not pretend to know the balancing act of career and family. I do know I am highly determined to follow in the footsteps of many women who have made it work.

Evaluating the role of women in a progressive society involves measuring respect within a relationship. I see many relationships with a good measure of mutual respect for the respective partners. Unfortunately, I also see many women who let their significant others walk all over them, dictating what they can and cannot do. This is not OK. To put it in Biblical terms, a relationship should be equally yoked. Each partner's opinions and feelings should not only count, but carry an equal weight of importance. Step it up, ladies. We do not need to serve as doormats for the male ego.

I am not saying women need to become doctors and lawyers to be considered successful. Many of my personal heroes are homemakers who never spent a day in the workforce, but raised families, volunteered their time to good organizations and stood by their men through thick and thin. It is possible for a woman to take more than one path in life, and she should not be condemned for doing so.

We all come here with different talents and abilities and are all simply wired differently. If you try to put the red wire in the black outlet, the outcome is less than superior. The key is to celebrate and respect our differences, making a way for our versatile choices to come together to make something beautiful — something that works cohesively.

So please, do not assume that just because a woman is older than 20 and unmarried that she is either a) Not attractive or exciting enough to snatch herself a man, or b) A liberal "feminazi" seeking to take over the world, attempting to overthrow men one at a time. Just because I am not the most submissive woman to you and your male ego does not mean I do not like or respect you.

Women are amazing, beautiful, smart and capable human beings, who make an incredible variety of positive contributions to society. This diversity is, indeed, worth celebrating.

– Tyra Simmons is a senior majoring sociology. Her column runs the second and fourth Wednesday of every month. and send any comments to tavin.stucki@aggiemail.usu.edu.